About that Psych Grad Student AU of yours

mastermistressofdesire:

@yesgabsstuff @bthump

I found something for Corkus to do!

You know expanding on the psych, group therapy angle, I’d really
like for it to be like this unofficial support group Griffith put together
while still in school because a lot of kids in the neighbourhood could not
afford therapy, but is now working towards getting a degree and making it like
a professional deal, maybe even join a bigger set up or really expand upon the
project. And it’s sort of become a safe space for all these kids and over the years,
some of the older ones like Judeau, Pippin, Corkus have all stayed together and
become like this group of people who at this point just support each other as
friends and actually even help to guide the newer ones who join. (Corkus has
his own brand of tough love which surprisingly works on some of the most
withdrawn kids so they sort of let him be).

And everyone of course, completely loves Griffith because this
guy literally gave a lot of them life. 

Griffith however has in recent times started to develop a very
non-disclosure, sterile clinical style of counselling, where he’ll hear
everyone out, non-judgmentally, of course but not really give any personal
inputs. And he’s pretty good at this.( Psych students would be rolling their
eyes here- but there’s like these two schools of thought regarding counselling
among psychologists, one that the psychologist should not bring any personality
to the table, as the therapy isn’t about them, they should merely be a mirror
in which their clients can find themselves, an emotionless but rational and
non-maleficent screen and the other is that the psychologist should interact
with the client as their authentic selves, to be better able to build trust, a
sense of reality and connection and extend human support to the client.)

However, this wasn’t always the case and when he was younger,
and didn’t really know much about psychology or therapy. Griffith would reach
out pretty much how any concerned person would, he was just a lot better at it
intrinsically

Unfortunately, as with any group of people dealing with
participants from such sad and messed up personal situations, among the many
happy recoveries there are also some things which couldn’t be fixed. Over the
years there have been those who relapsed, ran away or most commonly committed
suicide, mostly during the early years of the Group when Griffith was still
doing the stuff pretty much solo and he has a huge case of unresolved guilt
associated with these cases. Because in retrospect sometimes he keeps wondering
if it was something he had unthinkingly or unknowingly said and simply the fact
that he had taken responsibility for these people and that  maybe what was his
amateurish incompetence and over involvement had ultimately failed them.

Casca however turns out to be one of his early
successful ‘cases’ and he helps her recover from and infact directly stops
her from being sexually assaulted. And he really helps her kind of regain her
sense of control over herself .Casca completely hero-worships him. This goes
on till final year of high school by when Casca has become somewhat of a support
counsellor herself but then things suddenly turn ugly when this kid who’d
recently joined them commits suicide, and this is the one of the youngest kids ever that Griffith had
taken in and he’s completely shaken by this incident.

This also starts his goal toward working his ass off and getting that actual degree and scholarship. So he applies to a lot of Universities, and gets accepted into a great one except Gennon is the Dean. Go figure. 

So Casca witnesses an incident and she’s pretty shaken about it but later when she asks Griffith why he wont just leave, he tells her it’s not important in the grand scheme of things and right now the degree is the most important thing for him because he refuses to take risks with the lives of people who trust him with their lives. Plus it’s kind of his dream to have his own sort of therepeutic set up .

and so it goes, and also like when Griffith first meets Guts, he asks him to join in on their meetings and Guts takes offense and says he doesn’t need it.

In the beginning Guts resents Griffith slightly because he looks like he’s so untouched by the things which everyone else is suffering from. He seems normal and happy and well-adjusted and Guts can’t relate to that and sometimes just wants to drag him down to his level.

But as the years go by it becomes what he loves the most about Griffith, that he can just waltz in and make Guts smile despite himself. And Guts becomes exceedingly protective of him because he feels like he wants to protect a little bit of that  ‘ innocence’. 

Later he  hears about Casca’s story and —

haha this is getting real long but yeah canon typical things. but they will talk because it’s what they do for a living in this au. and things will be better.

Ooh I love this idea too, long but worth reading. tbh I’ve heard a lot about those two schools of thought you mentioned from a friend who’s a therapist and that’s a really clever and in-character way of applying it imo.

also i’ll add this here bc it’s all related to the same au:

@yesgabsstuff said: I feel like you could even keep the
whole Gennon situation in if you wanted? Like you have a student that
was on the waiting list for the group and he didn’t get the treatment he
needed in time due to a lack of funding and he ends up killing himself?
Grad student Griffith would totally blame himself and give into the
advances of a spooky doner
Patron of the department for a grant to be sent their way.

If you wanted. I would because it was important character development.

Yeah I think it’s pretty necessary. both this and @mastermistressofdesire‘s idea up there totally work for me.

The only thing I want to suggest is an original motivation for Griffith to decide to start this whole helping other people cope with trauma thing. Bc I mean canon Griffith didn’t necessarily have much of an original pre-gennon motivation for the castle dream but that was a rly simple + childish dream whereas this is more complex and I think should be rooted in something. Building off of the whole apparently orphan kid in a back-alley thing maybe he grew up in orphanages/foster homes and witnessed and/or experienced abuse and couldn’t do anything about it, and this is his way of taking back that sense of control and “making up for it” as he might think to himself?

Which kind of maybe is moving the dead kid motivation ahead a little, but idk.

@yesgabsstuff said: I feel like they would know each other
from before. Maybe from undergrad? Like Casca was a theatre major or
something and was a huge techie and decided to stay on that side of it
after school. A previous group therapy thing where they were both
patients makes sense to me.

Guts I could see going to therapy to deal with anger issues and being
reluctantly directed towards the group after his therapist suspects some
trauma.

ooh i dig these ideas! also if it’s anger related maybe it’s court-ordered. i could see him engaging in some destruction of public property if he’s really pissed off.

also lmao i have no idea how to squeeze corkus into the plot but the idea of him as a bitter grad student is perfect

@yesgabsstuff said:
Casca is a contractor with a specialty in carpentry. Guts feels like a mechanic for boats or some shit.

Now how do we force Guts to go the fuck to therapy? 

1. I could feel this. guts as a mechanic works gr8 for me and obviously so does carpenter casca.

2. hm yk he might realize it’s a good idea on his own if he has flashbacks during sex. maybe he’d go, check it out for one meeting, think ‘nah this isn’t my thing’ except when he tries to duck out griffith convinces him to stay. possibly thru a bet a la the manga but less dramatic than swords.

also! would griffith and casca be childhood(ish) friends in this version too (maybe meeting at earlier group therapy or smthn) or would they all meet at the same time?

@yesgabsstuff said:
Clinical psychologist
grad student running a sliding scale survivors group under supervision?
You could have some crazy intra-department drama in place of a kingdom.
Casca also coaches girls soccer in her spare time.

shit they could all meet thru a support group instead of a merc band. omg suddenly i really want to read this? i feel like this is actually like the most true to berserk way of doing a modern au – still about dealing with trauma, just with better mental health resources and less world-destroying now.

and loud yes to Casca coaching soccer.

@madchen said:
im so angry bc i was
gonna say something poignant abt griffith and sexuality but then i
forgot wait i just remembered it-i hc griffith as gay and its so… i dont
know, him repressing his feelings and desires and attraction to other
men before guts comes along fits in pretty well with his character i
think. its hard to think abt w griffith just bc of the persona and
facade he puts out there but i like gay characters and thinking about
their gayness /shrugs 

so like i actually have an essay sitting in my drafts that i started writing as a tongue in cheek joke on the premise “compulsory heterosexuality is the true villain of berserk” bc it seemed like a subject i could have fun bullshitting with. then i never posted it bc like halfway thru it got 2real and the tone was all weird

anyway the point is griffith’s narrative is waaaay too easy to read as repressing his sexuality considering his dream is represented by a heterosexual marriage and being in love with his best friend is the obstacle he overcomes to turn into an emotionless shell of himself.

sooo yeah i could definitely see it. plus from a characterization standpoint his whole thing is emotional repression. Also turns out Berserk gets even more depressing when you look at it from that angle, even if it is totally unintentional.

madchen said:
oh also i definitely
think that if griffith ever did feel comfortable enough to relinquish
some control guts would probably be exceedingly tender and gentle with
it and griff reaction to that is probably up in the air? i wonder how he
would ever feel about guts calling him beautiful/praising how he looks
bc i agree w your objectification trauma hypothesis and its been made
exceedingly clear that guts loves griffith well beyond his physical
appearance?

I totally agree. Idk I guess I’d err on the side of thinking that Griffith would probably never be entirely comfortable with being praised for his appearance but he wouldn’t necessarily have flashbacks either? So I’d say his reaction would be somewhere in between total acceptance and imminent breakdown. But if it was like a fic or smthn i could easily be convinced either way.

@madchen said:
let. casca. used. power tools.

also this an ideal
griffguts situation bc we all know guts is into griffith sitting in an
immaculate lawn chair, no visible sweat, umbrella shading him + mocktail
and aviators while watching him do hard physical labor 

two extremely good points

@madchen said:
griffith: kicks the
fuck back in a beach chair to scope out that prime Guts Sweaty Abs while
hes hauling shit and casca is very excited abt the electric drill 

this is the most legit thing i’ve ever seen

@yesgabsstuff said: I see her doing both.

@madchen said:
casca and griffith diy
together and try to get guts in on it but guts always tries to Not
Follow Directions bc who cares/doesnt see the point of hotgluing ribbons
to mason jars

lmao this is perfect.

also consider: the three of them spending a weekend building a porch together. though i can’t decide whether modern au griffith would actually contribute much

@tfan2013 said: omg guts doing workout vid would be
adorable. it would be kinda awkward but griffith encourages him to
continue 🙂

@yesgabsstuff said:
Oh my gosh, Guts would
be the cutest! I think he would eventually have a core of his own super
loyal followers because he’s competent.

Also, like, I love
Casca, but homegirl un-ironically has bought into the entire Pinterest
aesthetic. Mason Jars and burlap and all. 

honestly yeah people would love him lol. and lol casca. lmao my first thought when you said DIY was casca building a porch, which shows you how much i actually know about pinterest, but I could see the whole mason jar hipster aesthetic too ngl. and they’re not mutually exclusive so…

@yesgabsstuff said:
Lol I always thought
of Griffith as a serious Tumblr/Instagram person. His LinkedIn is also
meticulous. Casca also has a perfect LinkedIn and looks up DIY shit on
Pinterest.

And I could absolutely see Guts driving away from his panic attacks in the dead of night.

I also imagined that Guts maybe tried
Reddit workout boards but rage quit. He told everyone that he left
because it was petty and stupid, and the dudes were amatures but really
it was all of the weird homophobic language that got to him on his bad
days in a weird lizard brain way. 

ia with all of the above. especially casca as a DIYer, for some reason that seems weirdly perfect to me lol. and aw Guts I could def see that happening.

maybe he’d start his own series of workout videos. he’d be awkward and suck at looking into the camera and talk with a lot of ‘uhs’ and ‘so yeahs’ but he’d get plenty of views because a) he knows his shit and b) he’s hot and griffith is the one holding the camera and adjusting the lighting (and c) griffith links them to his however many thousand followers)

Okay, one more: Guts, 4, 20, thoughts on social media.

Driving headcanon 

I think modern AU Guts would actually be a pretty chill driver. He might enjoy going for drives in a zen way, like he likes doing sword drills when he’s thinking too much. Traffic jams would rly piss him off though. He needs to feel like he’s doing something, not just sitting around and waiting. Also I think he’d go on night drives when he can’t sleep.

Relationship with/thoughts on _____ headcanon 

lmao he wouldn’t have a clue. Griffith would be a social media god, and Guts would just be like, why the fuck. He only cares about validation from a few specific people he knows irl so likes and comments would mean nothing to him. Maybe he’d be subscribed to a few youtube channels about gym workouts or something, if that counts.

Also he might have an instagram account solely because Griffith made him make one to follow him with.

oh also while I’m at it

yesgabsstuff said:
Griffith’s English VA
spoke to my soul. All of his show tune choices were theme-on-point. But I
had never actually thought about what Griffith the person would be
like. And the cooking thing makes sense. I feel like the Hawks made fun
of him gently for being fussy with cooking but always loved the results. 

same lol, the outtakes are worth watching for many reasons but especially his showtunes.
also maybe they take turns cooking for the rest, and everyone looks forward to Griffith’s night. And misses it when he moves up in the world and starts living away from the Band.

gatsca said:
i mean it only makes sense

blackswords said:
we can only hope

seisans said:
a solid theory but this also explains why i kinda wanna see zodd and griff get it on 

yk for a manga that has a reputation for being shocking and gritty and dark and fucked up and disturbing there is a sad lack of weird (consensual) monster sex

also i low-key ship griffith/every apostle. well every dude apostle. like they’re canonically all in pseudo-spiritual lust/love with him so i just feel like there’s an empty niche in fandom that could be filled with weird, faux-deep, religion-y, god/monsterous-disciple action.


another reply cut for fandom bitterness lol

seisans said: yeah, people just fucking can’t read,
basically. or they only remember what they want to remember, and
interpret things however’s most convenient for them

yeah p much. which i mean, whatever, most people read stuff that way and emphasize the parts they like and ignore or skim whatever they don’t, so in general i couldn’t care less about people doing that. but considering how condescending and confrontational and awful so many berserk fans are despite being completely, factually wrong, i rly have no problem pointing and laughing at their lack of reading comprehension lol

seisans said:
she lit says i tried
to convince myself that griffith wanted you *just for your strength*
which implies that he actually wants him for something more than his
usefulness so it can’t even be using him to reach his dream 

RIGHT?

honestly while I was reading Berserk recently after having only read a pretty poor scanlation like, about eight years ago, I had all these expectations going in after browsing the tv tropes page (always a mistake, i know) and checking out a few other areas of fandom. Like I assumed that Griffith’s irrationality around Guts was only implied in his actions rather than directly talked about 50 times, I assumed that Guts’ complicated feelings mixed in with his rage like pain and sorrow and fear etc were only shown in facial expressions and stuff rather than described by Puck the empath, I assumed that whatever process turned people into monsters after a sacrifice was mysterious and vague rather than explained and shown in detail, etc etc

I swear a huge chunk of the issues that I see heavy debate over, or fans flat out denying, are explicitly stated in the text lmao. like i basically assumed there was way more ambiguity in Berserk than there actually is bc of the way the fandom is, but nah most of the time Berserk is actually surprisingly straightforward.

Like this is the perfect example. why do you still see so many fans argue that griffith just wanted guts’ strength to help him achieve his dream when casca literally states on the page that that is clearly not the case, complete with pointing out why that doesn’t make sense.

@yoikami said:
He said something like
“because of you I almost lost the sight of my dream”, like he wouldn’t
act like that to anyone but Guts, clearly.

ikkkr. ngl “Among thousands of comrades and tens of thousands of enemies you’re the only one… you’re the only one… who made me forget my dream.” is one of my favourite lines/moments in anything ever.

Unless you’re referring to the other amazing line, “But now as he shines so glaring within me… the junk* grows dull.”

*his dream

@pulseofthestars said:
So proud of Rickert here, I really hope he makes it to the end of the series. He will make a strong and good hearted man.

yeah I can’t wait to see how he turns out hanging out with Silat and co, especially if there’s a time skip. I got surprisingly attached to him watching him grow up, I hope he survives everything too.

@mastermistressofdesire said:
oh yeah. I’ve been
wondering about if there’d eventually going to be a bias towards a
certain endgame philosophy but till now i’ve not really been
dissapointed with the ones we’ve run with so mostly just waiting and
watching.  Also I really like this chapter. There’s a lot of food for
thought here. 

I’m pretty happy to wait and see where it goes, and tbh none of the options seem that bad to me. Like the anti-utopia thing can be great depending on how it’s done imo, and it definitely wouldn’t mean it’ll automatically be black and white and boring either. If Miura did go that route I’m sure he’d make it interesting.

@madchen said:
love the close ups of
guts eyes and his grip tightening on his swords handle while griff is
disassociating during the whole thing

ifkr. gotta love all those swords held at crotch-height in significant emotional moments

@yoikami said: What if neogriffith has a child. Idk why I picture a lot on my head an evil child from NeoGriffith and Charlotte ’-‘

seems like a plausible thing to happen tbh, esp if there’s a time skip. personally i’m p neutral to the idea bc i don’t really like fictional children but imo it could be an interesting way to shed some light on what griffith even is right now, like can he pass on whatever godlike powers he has? would the kid be another vessel for his consciousness if his body isn’t immortal? would the kid be an ordinary human? would he care about it? that kinda thing.

@madchen said:
GOD please no healing
dick of the man she loves bullshit miura please dont make this story any
more misogynistic and vaguely lesbophobic than it already is

@tfan2013 said:
yeah it pretty obv she
is not really gonna jump back on guts dick cus that’s unrealistic (but
most berserk fans think they gonna make love as soon as she gets back
and i’m like no..just no
@yesgabsstuff

especially after this chapter i can’t think of a worse writing choice than healing dick but like… that doesn’t necessarily rule it out i guess lmao 😦

still though i feel like the odds are pretty low at least. keeping hope alive til winter

@yesgabsstuff said: I totally
agree that this is a child’s idea and I guess that’s what makes it so
upsetting to me? That its emotionally stupid and an intellectual
failure? Idk man.

tbh the idea that griffith stumbled into his dream and worked backwards to justify it feels a little absurdist to me, which i love, especially in conjunction with Berserk’s take on fate/meaning, ie, humans literally create it out of a desperate need and it fucks them over.

but yeah there is something inherently upsetting in the idea that everything that went down in berserk is ultimately because of something stupid and childish. it’s the kind of upsetting i dig though haha.

tho now that I think about it wrt his higher aspirations (equality, nobles suck, etc) we know he had them before the kid died because of how he saved Casca, so I do think those were always part of his motivation for becoming king, but… I tend to think they’re a little childish at heart too, for Griffith. More born out of obstinacy, with actual philosophy and reasoning applied later.

divinesong said: I doubt anyone will be shedding any tears for those sorts of criminals though.

this is true and tbf they are explicitly given a moment before Guts kills them when they’re like “cool now we can blackmail Griffith ho ho ho we’re so awful” so Guts and Griffith look less dickish for casually betraying and killing them. But that always kind of annoyed me lol. They could’ve been Robin Hoodish criminals with hearts of gold and they still would’ve been killed there, so functionally it doesn’t make any difference. Making them extra off-putting conniving assholes just feels like a cheap way of keeping the audience on Guts’ side. It’s a minor complaint, but still.

white-hawk said:
{{ I think the
interviewer didn’t ask about romantic undertones, but UST, to which
Miura has said something along the lines how men can have passionate
feelings for each other without them being like this. But, c’mon,
honestly. I think he doesn’t believe this himself. }}

I want to find this interview now. I mean to be fair PR-wise I don’t think Miura would admit it was gay even if he was 100% purposeful in laying the overtones on, so a public denial doesn’t really mean much to me and my interpretation lol.

@gatsca said: Granted it’s been a
bit since I read the series of events leading up to this scene in
whole, but I have read it a number of times + just reread the chapter
directly before and I personally never actually read Griffith being ISO
comfort in this scene.  Like, this is coming from my #BPD ass self, but I
always took it as Griffith being keenly aware that the dynamic between
Guts and Casca had changed fundamentally + seeking to “fix” that.

They had something
entirely their own going on all of the sudden and that change was, to
Griffith, absolutely agonizing.  The move on Casca is a bit of a power
play + sexual in nature (“Casca wanted someone to be close to her, she’s
obviously upset now, I’ll give her what I never did before to snap her
back to reality”, reality being one where griff is central to guts n
casc’s relationship as their leader) b/c what better way to go about
recapturing Casca’s attention

I always read it as a
desperate grasp at restoring what once was – Casca fixated on Griffith
without time for other guys, so that said Guys could have their own
thing going lmao…… not griff directly seeking comfort, but seeking to
realign things, which would then bring him relief.  sorry this is so
jumbled lmfao i hope it comes across how I mean!! 

This makes total sense and tbh seems so plausible and in-character that I feel silly for not thinking of it lol. A desperate irrational doomed-to-failure attempt to reassert the status quo between them, I’m v down with this explanation. ty for the input!

@yesgabsstuff said: I think that Berserk’s
central conflict at least during the Golden Age is how you plan on
dealing with your shit? All of them (Casca included) minimize or reframe
what happened to them. Guts absolutely lashes out at others to deal
with his anger but they are impersonal others and it’s done in a, dare I
say, socially acceptable way so it doesn’t feel abusive. He isolates
himself. Casca throws herself into being hyper competent and into her
relationships so that she can keep a fear that would freeze her to the spot at bay. Griffith
has his dream and in case of emergencies, self destructive behavior.
That is of course until he decides to manage his helplessness by
actually becoming an abuser himself. Guts of course teeters on the edge
of this coping style too. It’s very interesting

I don’t really have anything to add to this but it’s basically perfect. I love your character insights so much. Like, damn, that bit about Guts lashing out but he (mostly) gets away with it because he’s a mercinary and later his war is with monsters. That’s so spot on and something I never would’ve thought of.

And now that you mention this about coping, it occurs to me that all the parallels he has to Griffith during the Black Swordsman arc that I noticed are in how they respectively respond to trauma. They both deny feelings of guilt, they both physically scratch themselves, they both suggest that a young dead soldier died happy, they both single-mindedly pursue a goal.

This is so interesting!