Tag: headcanons

madchen
replied to your post “madchen
replied to your post “madchen
replied to your post “since…”

i always say guts doesn’t know how to work a phone but i love the idea of him taking candid pics of griff and looking at them lovingly later
has so many sleeping/napping griff pics

yesss

and like if griffith was looking thru guts’ phone and stumbled across the folder of pics of himself sleeping he would completely love it, like it wouldn’t even occur to him to be creeped out lol, it’d just be evidence that guts is super into him even at his most un-put-together

madchen
replied to your post “madchen
replied to your post “since it’s been on topic a bit lately,…”

his lock screen and home screen is. griffith.

this makes me wonder if modern au guts would take pictures of him. either with griffith posing or candids.

madchen
replied to your post “since it’s been on topic a bit lately, ya got any possessive guts hcs…”

you mentioning guts wants to lay his claim on griffith got me thinking about how absolutely enthusiastic and proud he would be in modern au of griff when they get married. like look at my beautiful smart sweet perfect husband. he’s mine and we have matt hung rings and everything. my husband 🙂

this is so cute omg i can’t handle this

i love them

Hey,what if it femto raped guts instead during the eclipse ? I think it would be more in character for femto (embodiment of grif self-loathing aka his fear of being a monster taking what it wants wtv it takes +nice parralel of grif interior monologue during his fight wt guts aka having guts wtv it takes),and more wise story-like (echo of guts past trauma+eclipse being bout him and not casca+the following chapter wld rly be bout guts+etc).And it wld have been depicted respectfully lol

this is a dicey topic so I’m putting it under a cut, cw for somewhat casual discussion of rape

tbh yeah it probably would’ve been more tastefully depicted, both the scene and the aftermath/trauma (not that that’s a hard bar to clear, but Miura does care more about realistic depictions of men with trauma than women with trauma lbr). I mean obviously it would’ve been extra fucked up and offensive w/ that predatory gay villain shit, but it’s not like the canon version is great on that score either. And you’re right that at least the misogynist fridging of a female character + subsequent manpain wouldn’t be a factor. Idk it’s a hypothetical so it doesn’t really matter whether it’d be more or less or the same amount of offensive anyway, and it’s all subjective when it comes to comparing misogyny vs homophobia lol.

and honestly I kinda asked myself the same thing while writing my long Griffith meta, particularly the third part where, yk, I got into parallels w/ the King and his feelings for Charlotte and Griffith’s self-loathing and potentially seeing his feelings as intrinsically predatory wrt the second duel, yadda yadda yadda. Like, I could see it as an alternate version of the Eclipse. I don’t think it would necessarily be ooc for a potential personification of Griffith’s inner evil.

It would be ooc for the Femto we got though imo. Bc Femto and NeoGriffith re-enforce Griffith’s denial, they’re all about denying that they give a single fuck. If raping Guts = Femto taking what he wants, then he’s admitting to himself that he wants him, and one of his main reasons for making the sacrifice was to stop wanting him. Like while I doubt this was Miura’s reasoning lol, I do think it makes sense for him to assault Casca rather than Guts (yk assuming an Eclipse rape has to happen). It fits the pattern of how they both use her as an intermediary to repress their feelings for each other.

And I mean obviously we can talk about how rape isn’t about sex or sexual desire but rather about power and degradation, but wrt a fictional depiction where the evil version of a dude who was in love with the protag sexually assaults him, you can’t really divorce that from the human version’s feelings. Tho I suppose it could be framed as like a version of the Hill of Swords scene, ie Femto testing himself in a grotesque way, so it doesn’t necessarily have to be an admittance of lingering, now twisted and evil feelings from his pov. Idk, whatever.

Anyway it would’ve wildly changed everything post Eclipse. tbh I think it would totally destroy Guts – not like drive him insane like Casca bc honestly that’s just Miura’s cop-out to avoid writing a realistically traumatized woman, but I mean like… it’s the opposite of what his deal is now, in a way.

If post-Eclipse Guts was largely motivated by this continued need for Griffith/Femto’s attention, that connection between them, to be hated as an enemy if he couldn’t be loved as a friend, etc, and I definitely think that’s the case, then like, sexual assault during the Eclipse is a way of hurting him while giving him that attention. A corrupted + weaponized aspect of something he wants.

Like idk I can’t even rly picture what his reaction would be if suddenly Femto’s attention/that “true light” bond between them was a terrifying source of trauma rather than something to pursue. Maybe he would still try to lash out and kill him, but less a genuine attempt and more suicide by monster? Like with how much more powerful Femto is, Guts would know he’s not actually a match for him, but he’s also so driven to kill as his number one reaction to everything that scares him. I feel like he’d have much less self-preservation (and BS Guts did not have much in the first place lbr) bc he doesn’t genuinely want to find and face Femto again in this version of events, and he’d be dead 1 or 2 apostles into his revenge spree.

I suppose there’s also room to explore more complicated feelings, like how would Guts feel about human Griffith in this circumstance – still regret and guilt, or would that be overwritten? Would this reach back and ruin his memories of the old days? Basically, does he still miss human Griffith? Is there any part of him that still wants Griffith’s attention despite everything? I mean you have canon lines like “is she not precious because she’s the wound Griffith left, because you want to keep feeling the pain he caused you,” after all. Like, what would the Beast of Darkness say to him now? If this AU version of the Eclipse rape was yk, the same as canon with the same focus on unwilling arousal + orgasm, how does that aspect fuck Guts up? etc etc.

But lbr those are questions more suited to darkfic than meta.

since it’s been on topic a bit lately, ya got any possessive guts hcs and general meta thoughtz asia

On the more headcanony side I think that like, Guts would be possessive but he wouldn’t really think of it as possessiveness – it’d feel like a natural extention of their v exclusive, v intense relationship. Griffith would be possessive in turn ofc.

And it wouldn’t manifest in like, being jealous of Charlotte if Griffith still plans to marry her for power. I figure they’d talk about that and Guts would understand it’s business lol, he wouldn’t be threatened by Charlotte. But at the same time he would demand Griffith’s attention and time. Maybe not literally demand lol, but he’s really emotionally needy lbr and I think he’d get sulky if he didn’t get enough time with Griffith bc he’s busy being a king or w/e. We see that in canon even, when he tries to visit him after Zodd but can’t bc of the nobles.

But then like in canon Griffith would reassure him and go out of his way to give him that time and attention because well, he’s also needy and they’re both obsessed with each other and neither wants to spend time apart.

So things like Griffith putting off some king stuff to laze around in bed with Guts would be perfect for Guts. Or things like having sex on the throne at three am when the room’s empty lol, or leaving tea with Charlotte early because the Raider Captain has something important to “discuss” with him. Guts would want to make his claim on Griffith, and have Griffith show that he’s the most important.

But again like, he wouldn’t express that, and Griffith (unless something drastic has gone down) wouldn’t admit to himself that Guts is the most important aspect of his life. But it would still show through in little moments and Guts would notice them (yk assuming no Promrose Hall speech colouring his perception etc etc).

Sexually you got leaving marks under clothes, fucking him hard enough that he still feels it the next day, teasing and drawing it out as a way of focusing Griffith’s attention wholly on him. Like, considering how needy they both are when it comes to wanting the others’ attention and regard and desire, sex could get ridiculously intense lol. We’ve talked about this before a bit but yk it holds true. They just both want to be wanted by the other so badly lol.

On the more meta-y side, I’d argue that their relationship comes with a side of possessiveness from both – again, as a kind of natural byproduct of the singular intensity of it. They are each others’ only one, and they both want to be each others’ only one. I don’t think there’s a lot of like, canon elements that demonstrate Guts being possessive to the same explicit extent of eg Griffith’s “if I can’t have him, I don’t care,” but imo it’s there under the surface.

Guts wants to make Griffith look at him. At first that’s the whole quest for a dream thing, but after the Eclipse it’s his revenge quest. He wants to kill him because, more than anything else, he wants acknowledgement that he matters to him.

This hold on Griffith is exactly what Guts wanted, and still wants.

It doesn’t manifest as jealousy, like we see him trying to set Griffith and Casca up for a while, but it’s more like, yk, that need for attention. He’s possessive of Griffith’s priorities. The reason I think he’s ok with setting Griffith and Casca up is because lover isn’t a category he can see himself fitting into, and moreover, true friend and equal trumps lover anyway as far as he’s concerned. His competition is Griffith’s dream, not Griffith’s other relationships.

I mean you can split hairs on the definition of possessiveness and whether Guts’ feelings count if it’s less jealousy and more wanting to be the most important person to Griffith, but yk I think it’s an element.

Oh actually I do have one thing I can add about NeoGriffith, that I’ve been kind of thinking for a while but haven’t posted because it’s potentially controversial lol

But I think you could make an argument that NeoGriffith is… Griffith. As though transforming from Femto back into a flesh and blood body returned his whole range of emotions as well, basically if NGriff has the same emotional and psychological make-up of human Griffith.

Like, imo he is exactly what Griffith would be if:

  • he talked to god and god told him he’s not responsible for anything and everything he chooses to do is the correct fate-sanctioned thing to happen and he’s basically just a pawn
  • he spent a few years as a demonic embodiment of the dark side of himself and humanity, with the rest of his humanity stripped away
  • while he was that demon, he committed an unforgiveable and unjustifiable act of evil for no reason but spite
  • he is removed from the rest of humanity because he has another level of awareness/partially exists on another metaphysical plane
  • he made the choice to sacrifice everyone he loves both to achieve his dream and to cut out his heart because his feelings for guts ruined his life and sent him into suicidal despair

Like, basically NeoGriffith as Griffith in deep, deep, deep denial lmao, and finding it really easy to stay in denial because god gave him a thumbs up and he’s extra detached from his human emotions due to being a godlike entity with intimate knowledge of fate/the astral plane/his place in the world/etc.

I say this as someone who genuinely believes that human Griffith was more or less a good person. But I still think it would absolutely be in character for a Griffith who remembers being Femto to tell Guts he regrets nothing and then leave to do his thing.

So in this way you could say that NeoGriffith is the extreme fantasy story version of a dude who deliberately detaches himself from his own emotions for the sake of achieving a goal.

But to be clear I don’t think this is actually the case in canon.

I think NGriff probably actually has magically dampened emotions due to the sacrifice, and due to having magically transformed a few times most of human Griffith is genuinely lost, like we see him losing pieces of himself, and I don’t think he got those pieces back.

But like, I think NGriff kind of works on another level as not just the embodiment of the image Griffith portrayed, but how he maintained it, ie, by denying all his feelings. And I find the idea of NGriff as Griffith-in-extreme-denial really like… interesting and fun lol, in a headcanon way.

xiyyh
mentioned you on a post “i’d like your thoughts on this please! i’d forgotten about this…”

@bthump my sincere apologies for not seeing this earlier—that week was hectic af! but i love your thoughts here, thank you! very intriguing analysis as usual. i hadn’t thought of what you said about guts recklessness being a form of self harm but it very much is.

INTERESTINGLY though, as i’m rewatching some berserk ‘97 … it seems to be the place he got an arrow wound after julius’ assassination, just before hearing griffith’s speech that was the catalyst for everything falling apart ��

!!!

nice, might switch my headcanon to that. it works perfectly really, as the point where everything leading to the black swordsman arc began, not just because he overheard the speech but also because of the state of mind he was in when he overheard it having just killed a kid, ie

image

so yk, it ties the whole becoming the monstery asshole he was already afraid of being back then thing together. full circle. or something.

flooracle
replied to your post “flooracle
replied to your post “Why do you feel Grunbeld would turn…”

100% agreed on the new hawks! Tbh I like their parts of the arc most.. ch194 where Mule is introduced to most of em and Grunbeld saves the kids from being eaten, 250 when Sonia and Irvine talk, 277 where Grunbeld & Locus go for a walk and wish luck to Zodd before he goes to battle AND Sonia gives advice and calls him Mr Black Lion, details like Mule squiring for Locus later etc.. lov that they develop their relationships, just wish there were more bits like these :’)
The part abt Ganishka
and Gennon is brilliant tbh!! First thing I thought after is how they
both see Griffith as much more important than he sees them.. like for
ex. When it happens, Griffith & Ganishka don’t meet as emperor vs
emperor but as godhand and apostle… Their own parallels are rly
interesting, so I like all the au variants a lot, thank you!!

Also I have some summaries for the Grunbeld novel that tell the basic
plot & stuff. I hope it gets an English ver soon

yeah I love all those moments. plus the way the apostles are given so much relatable humanity gives me a lot of hope for where the narrative is going, both because it def makes it less likely we’re headed for a plain old guts + co vs griffith + co, and because giving Griffith’s monster side of the narrative all the humanity makes me hope we’re going to get some more monstrousness out of Guts’ human side of the narrative to balance it out.

ty! and yeah that’s a good point – both G+G are obsessed with Griffith, but to Griffith they’re obstacles. I mean I think Gennon did have a huge affect on him, but he had his (really satisfying) moment of triumph when he looked down on him and told him he didn’t matter. Then with Ganeshka he follows that through, because he’s an untouchable god compared to him, but also reverses it, because at the end right before Griffith destroys him, they have a moment of connection.

btw would you happen to have a link to the Grunbeld novel summaries?

flooracle
replied to your post “Why do you feel Grunbeld would turn Griffith down? Are they all human…”

Definitely agree tbh there was sth very off about him saying he wanted to prove his loyalty (at Floras) when he’s been serving NG for.. years(??).. Rly feels like performing duty as you said, and feeling like hes not performing it well enough.

Ive only read summaries of the novel and some chapter bits (and he’s great tbh!!) this all fits, while what the new band of the hawk does fits w his ethos, idt he has it in him to dedicate himself to a leader anymore.
Also re: the novel…
the circumstances that led him to seek the falcon of light (besides
being apostle) kinda puts Griffith secondary, or at least it comes off
like that. But unlike seeking a leader (not) hes been looking for
friends and seems to be rly close to many other hawks.

Wrt the modern au: great!! Au Irvine is such a specific presence fhdhhdh
I can almost see him and his acoustic guitar. Also what are Ganishka
and Griffith to each other here? :“)

thanks for the extra info about grunbeld, this is p interesting. at some point i need to find what i can of his story and check it out.

i love that bit about grunbeld being close to the other hawks. it’s so interesting to have a band of the hawk 2.0 that isn’t just like, an evil twisted monster version of the former, but actually has the same sense of forged bonds and camraderie and the fact that they’re also monsters is like, neither here nor there lol.

but i love everything to do with giving the apostles more character depth and humanity.

also wrt Ganeshka, yk I think it depends what you want to emphasize. tbh my immediate thought was maybe merging his character with Gennon in a modern au. I feel like Ganeshka is meant to be kind of similar in part to highlight NGriff’s invulnerability. He’s got the magic apostle lust for him thing going on, he threatens him in a similar “i won’t kill you, i’ll capture you” with creepy insinuations, he has the unbeatable army – but unlike Gennon he’s never actually a threat.

So you could turn the ganeshka storyline into more of a power fantasy revenge story in a modern au, if you’re keeping the whole idea of a conflict.

But then (especially for this particular idea in which Griffith is stupid and sad after a stupid break up with Guts) it might be better to emphasize the way Griffith and Ganeshka are parallels – loneliness and isolation, feeling apart from the rest of humanity, anger and monstrousness stemming from fear, etc. In which case maybe you’d skip straight to ascended Ganeshka in a modern au and make it a one-off, weirdly revealing encounter with a stranger or something. Or make him a fictional person in something Griffith is watching/reading that makes him do some projecting.

Why do you feel Grunbeld would turn Griffith down? Are they all human in this au? (I can’t into any apostles/Griff in canon because his Godhand charm powers are… unsettling) This idea is really cool though, thank you for talking abt these characters (and getting them accurately imo)! ^^

ty! and lol yk idk, it was just my immediate thought. Maybe because of the core apostles he seems a little more above the hype? he seemed kind of disdainful about being sent after flora, and he’s got that noble knight thing going on but it seems less personal/emotional than locus’ loyalty to griffith. i guess i get the impression that he’s following griffith more because of duty than any particular attachment to griffith, unlike the other apostles who are all personally obsessed.

but i feel like i get him least out of all the apostles, which is funny bc he’s the one with a spinoff story, but yk i haven’t read it so he’s still a mystery to me lol.

I was mainly thinking modern au where the apostles are just dudes griffith does some terrible rebounding with after his (temporary in this version) break up with guts. yk zodd is guts 2.0 but more violent/less restrained, irvine is a nerd who spends weeks alone at a time, raksas is probably a serial killer, etc. But ngl I could definitely get behind straight up canon NeoGriffith/various apostles. ikwym about the godhand charm powers but tbh the idea of an army of monsters basically instinctively compelled to desire griffith works for me lol, it’s an inherently fucked up concept so it kinda fits.

griffithsgaymom:

tbf i think zodd would be capable of being romantic wrt griffithbut it’s obviously not the same since he’s actively placing griffith in a pedastal and only sees him as a divine being or really hot if this is modern au lmao. on the other hand he would absolutely fuck griffith hard on his hands and knees every time, no exceptions.

suddenly i’m considering a modern au where the cool apostles are all part of a rebound disaster sex tour after griffith and guts break up

imo

zodd is a stoic service top type (and ia definitely puts him on a pedestal)

locus is more the lovey dovey romantic one who thinks they’re dating after one night

idk why but i feel like grunbeld would turn griffith down

raksas is an actually scary sadist type but griffith returns multiple times for reasons he refuses to examine

irvine is casual chill hookups once a month

actually this could also be canon

madchen
replied to your post “asia do you have. any dirty talk hcs?”

i never really thought bc griffith being ashamed bc of that but like yeah it makes sense that he would feel bad and dirty for expressing genuine sexual attraction lmao. maybe even feel that he should feel emasculated or something bc of it?
also yea guts blurts shit out all the
time when he can’t hold it in. he asks griff if he can kiss him a lot

yeah I mean I don’t think it’s necessary or anything to be ic, but I’m kinda into the idea of Griffith being confident and seductive and sexy etc, just as good in bed as he is doing everything else, and then one day something relatively innocuous suddenly brings all these repressed feelings out and he asks if Guts thinks he’s [insecurity] and Guts is completely blindsided

It’s that contrast between the surface and the glimpses underneath that I just want to apply to everything lol.

Also nice, Guts asking Griff if he can kiss him is a++

madchen
replied to your post “I was just thinking that, during Griffith and Guts’ fight when…”

lmao i love the last sitcom lock em in a room together but. griffith would be like a feral bristly cat and not speak but just glare at guts for a good fifteen minutes and guts would just be sheepish and probably start feeling embarrassed about wanting to leave before they actually speak…

yeah i feel like they’d need like, a day and/or some kind of cartoonish ticking time bomb threat before they really started talking. and guts would have to start it, not just because he’s more likely to but also because he at least knows what’s going on lmao while i think griffith’s kind of stuck on ‘guts can’t leave. why? because… idk i own him or something. also the thought of guts leaving me makes me want to set myself on fire.’

ngl i think the easiest (relatively lol) way for this to get figured out is to have one of the ppl in the know about guts’ decision tell griffith, because then he has a starting point (i don’t look down on guts, do i? why or why not?) and prying the truth out of guts would be hard.

How do you think Griffith and Guts would start dating? Would Griffith be the one to confess first or? What about PDA??

imo when it comes to fic and stuff like that like that I can go along with just about anything as long as it’s written well, so yk I have no hard and fast opinions on this

but i do have some sort of default concepts I keep coming back to. So like I think the easiest and most convenient way for Griffith and Guts to get together is to make it an AU where Guts never overheard the Promrose Hall speech. Everything just falls into place that way imo.

I mean you can’t tell me he wouldn’t’ve got a clue when Casca said, “It’s as if… as if…”  if he didn’t have that whole overheard speech blocking the path to understanding Griffith’s feelings. (That) + (Griffith expressing his fear that Guts has a negative opinion of him in Tombstone of Flame) – (Guts convincing himself that Griffith looks down on him) = kiss.

And along with that, I tend to assume Guts would make the first move in most scenarios.

Partially because my thinking is, well Griffith has his “I must obtain the things I desire” mentality, so if he was going to make the first move surely he would’ve done it by now. But he hasn’t, so there must be something preventing him. And I mean I generally believe that Griffith doesn’t realize he’s in love with Guts, and may not even be in a place to recognize his physical attraction to him. Or if he does know he’s attracted, at least, it’s something he dismisses as irrelevant. So what’s preventing him imo is his inability to acknowledge/understand his own feelings.

Guts conversely is the more emotionally open one, imo. He’s the one who wants to know how Griffith feels about him, he wants to know why Griffith saved him so he directly asks him every time. He reflects on his own feelings and acts on them. So I could see Guts realizing he wants to kiss Griffith and then doing it without thinking too much about possible reasons he shouldn’t. Especially if he has reason to believe Griffith might also want that (eg Casca coming this close to telling him so in the cave).

And I don’t think his trauma would necessarily have to factor in or make him hesitant (tho it could), because Griffith is Griffith, he kind of exists as a special category of person in Guts head imo lol, so I don’t think Guts’ brain would necessarily automatically leap from sex with Griffith = sex with a man = emotionally dangerous territory. So basically if you want to bypass Guts’ trauma as a giant factor keeping them apart, or delay it for a while so they can happily make out/have some kinds of sex without Guts flashbacking or w/e, I think it’s totally reasonable (tho mb something worth examining wrt Guts’ internalized homophobia).

But also I could see Griffith confessing his feelings first in an “I need you,” way, and Guts making the leap to romance. OR potentially if Griffith becomes aware or believes that Guts wants him sexually, he might make the first move while framing it to himself as just bros letting off steam together or something lol, because he wants it but can’t admit to himself how desperately he wants it. Or a million other scenarios.

But that’s just my take on Griffith and Guts. If like a fic characterized Griffith as a little more self aware of his feelings but needing a catalyst to act on them, or something like that, it wouldn’t break my suspension of disbelief or anything.

Also wrt PDA I feel like they’d be extremely touchy-feely, but the Berserk setting being what it is would prevent any blatant displays of it. Like they could spend hours cuddling in private, but in public they’d probably both be too aware to even casually touch much. Their casual touches in public might stop happening entirely because they’d second guess them.

Though ngl I could also see them forgetting themselves, letting their hands linger over each other, Guts brushing Griffith’s hair away from his face, sitting pressed together and leaning into each other while drinking around the fire, etc. Like they’d go from getting together to open secret among the Hawk commanders at least within a week. I guess if this was a fic for me it would depend on the tone. This might feel weird in a dark and v close to canon feeling fic, but it would be great in something fluffier and more fun.

Also if it was like a modern AU they would absolutely be that couple that third wheels everyone around them, sits in each others’ laps, etc.

I have noticed a few people shipping Serpico and Guts together. Do you think the ship is absurd or do u think it’s something you could possibly stand behind???

I stand behind just about all gay ships on principle lol, but tbh I’m actually fairly interested in Guts/Serpico specifically.

Well, kinda. Like, for me, I can’t really picture them in a committed relationship, or any kind of happily ever after thing, but I feel like there’s def physical chemistry between them, and I think there’s a lot worth exploring there.

I mean tbh griffguts is the otp, I’m generally a happy multishipper in fandom but I can’t imagine either Griffith or Guts ever moving on with anyone else, and everything I’m interested in in Berserk comes back to them, so Guts/Serpico mostly interests me as Guts exploring his attraction to men by fucking a different slim blond dude, or subconsciously searching for another connection with another person like he had w/ Griffith and finding hints of it with Serpico (eg Serpico jumping between him and Zodd, Serpico dueling him, Serpico fighting based largely on clever tactics, the appearance of calm emotional detachment, etc)

As for Serpico, I think he’s fond of and intrigued by Guts and definitely attracted to him imo and I could see him going for a non-committal thing before realizing Guts is in love with his fated demon nemesis and getting the hell out of dodge lol.

Also I like the idea of Guts replaying the entire Golden Age through a new gay lens after fucking Serpico and going “fuck this explains so much.” And Serpico maybe just wanting to get laid by the resident hot guy who isn’t engaged to Farnese and then being blindsided by misaimed emotionally intense sex lol.

You seem fond talking about AUs, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I personally have a kink where favored characters drive vehicles even if it’s anachronistic to do so(I actually like Saiyuki style anachronism(jeep in a setting that shouldn’t have it) over actual AUs). So, what sort of vehicles do you think Guts and Griffith would drive? How skilled do you think they would be? What would they prefer? Thanks in advance.

griffiths-huggybox:

bthump:

lol as far as oddly specific things to be into go, that one’s kinda cool tbh.

I am probably a terrible person to ask tho, bc I do love talking about AUs and stuff but I know virtually nothing about cars. So I can’t really get specific at all.

I think Guts would drive a pickup truck? yk, tough and useful but not in an overcompensating way.

Griffith, idk. What’s like, a fairly expensive and elegant looking car that isn’t just for show? like one of those cool cars you see in car chase sequences in movies.

I figure they’d both be great drivers because my instinct is just to transfer their main canon skill (swordfighting) to driving and they’re both the best of the best there. Tho even if we’re not doing that I think they’d both be good drivers, because Griffith makes sure he’s good at everything he does, and I could see Guts driving, like going for random cruises, to turn his brain off and just chill. They’d both be great to travel with. No annoying fast acceleration, road rage, impatience, sharp turns, etc, with either of them. Though I could see Guts rolling his eyes at other drivers and calling them assholes under his breath, it wouldn’t alter his driving.

Anyone who knows more about cars and driving than me wanna jump in?

Actually, a lot of your headcanon fits mine quite well. Except I think Guts would more likely give in to impatience and some road rage, but that’s just me. Griffith, otoh, would not.

I agree 100% that Guts would drive a pick-up as he wouldn’t be as comfortable in cars and he would drive a manual like it’s a religion.

As for Griffith, I see him driving a Corvette Stingray type car: https://www.chevrolet.com/performance/corvette-stingray-sports-car

However, I don’t think he’s all that selective as he’s quite pragmatic. He’s just as likely to drive a pick-up as he is say, a Porsche. He does, however, enjoy driving manuals as it gives him more control, has better gas milage, faster overall, and more fun to drive. He is an ideal driver, despite some moment of melodrama in regards to Guts.

Yeah I was kind of waffling on whether or not Guts would be impatient or road-ragey actually but I erred on the side of not bc while he gets intense and riled up in fights he doesn’t really do anything stupid or make impulsive mistakes bc of it. But he is still emotional and driving =/= fighting so idk.

prettykitten123
replied to your post “prettykitten123
replied to your post “prettykitten123
replied to…”

I see what you mean. Yeah I guess in the beginning Griffith wouldn’t really be responsive to Puck but Puck will still try his best to make Griffith feel better so think over time Griffith would probably become fond of him.

Yeah I could see this. Also I mean, the real blame is inconsistent tone/writing, but you could take the difference between Puck in the Black Swordsman/Lost Children arc (kind of bratty but sincere, encouraging Guts to be less of a dick, sympathetic, concerned friend) vs Puck in the MF arc (annoying one-note comic relief with Isidro), and say his magic empathy means he adapts his behaviour depending on who he’s hanging out with lol.

So he might be less annoying with Griffith.

prettykitten123
replied to your post “prettykitten123
replied to your post “If Casca didn’t try a deter…”

Unfortunately all very very true :(…well at least Puck could liven up the mood and I’m sure Griffith would like him

I see Guts driving a motorcycle(its probably cliche but who cares it totally fits him)

As for Griffith maybe a luxury car like a Lexus, Mercedes-Benz, or a tesla

it’d be kind of interesting to see puck and griffith interact imo. i’m not sure myself whether griffith would like him (imo it might depend on griff’s state of mind) but i think puck’s magic empathy powers would make for an interesting combination.

also more suggestions for you divinesong (I’d @ you but it’s not letting me for some reason)

You seem fond talking about AUs, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I personally have a kink where favored characters drive vehicles even if it’s anachronistic to do so(I actually like Saiyuki style anachronism(jeep in a setting that shouldn’t have it) over actual AUs). So, what sort of vehicles do you think Guts and Griffith would drive? How skilled do you think they would be? What would they prefer? Thanks in advance.

lol as far as oddly specific things to be into go, that one’s kinda cool tbh.

I am probably a terrible person to ask tho, bc I do love talking about AUs and stuff but I know virtually nothing about cars. So I can’t really get specific at all.

I think Guts would drive a pickup truck? yk, tough and useful but not in an overcompensating way.

Griffith, idk. What’s like, a fairly expensive and elegant looking car that isn’t just for show? like one of those cool cars you see in car chase sequences in movies.

I figure they’d both be great drivers because my instinct is just to transfer their main canon skill (swordfighting) to driving and they’re both the best of the best there. Tho even if we’re not doing that I think they’d both be good drivers, because Griffith makes sure he’s good at everything he does, and I could see Guts driving, like going for random cruises, to turn his brain off and just chill. They’d both be great to travel with. No annoying fast acceleration, road rage, impatience, sharp turns, etc, with either of them. Though I could see Guts rolling his eyes at other drivers and calling them assholes under his breath, it wouldn’t alter his driving.

Anyone who knows more about cars and driving than me wanna jump in?

prettykitten123
replied to your post “If Casca didn’t try a deter Guts from staying and if the Eclipse never…”

Sometimes I wonder, if Guts did decide to stay with Griffith post torture, would they have discovered some way to cure him. Elfs and witches exist, I know Guts only met them because of his journey as the black swordsman but who knows? And I doubt that Guts would be the only one there taking care of him since someone has to go out and make some money to support them(Guts in my mind would still be doing mercenary work) so who knows maybe on his way back home from the
Battlefield he meets Puck at that tavern
bar from the Blackswordman arc. I’m not sure if Pucks magic would be
enough, I’m not even sure if Schierke’s would be enough if they were to
meet her in this version. What do you think?

tbh I think for the purposes of fic or whatever you could justify it either way. also imo it would make perfect sense for them to run into Puck like immediately because remember they were in the same area right around the time of the Eclipse – Puck was with the troupe Rickert ran into, probably Judeau’s old troupe.

I would say that Puck wouldn’t be able to heal him though. He doesn’t fix Guts’ scars when he heals him, and idk just going off what feels like logic lol I’d assume you’d need like, a combination of surgery and magic to knit Griffith’s wrist and ankle tendons back together. Like, to get kind of graphic for a sec, when you sever tendons they snap back like elastics afaik, so I feel like you’d need to stretch and hold them together while healing him. Maybe extra strength magic could grow him a new tongue, but probably not Puck or Schierke.

I do think that Puck could probably help the giant patches of missing skin scar over, mostly because if you’re not ignoring that part of his injuries then I would demand that that issue be fixed ASAP in a fic lmao.

But like I think it would also make logical sense that say, if they ran into a witch who specialized in healing, she could probably manage to heal him. Or someone in Elfhelm could do it.

But then if you want it to be impossible you could just say that magic can’t fix wounds that have already healed and scarred over, or regenerate flesh beyond what the body is already equipped to do, (eg it can make scarring happen faster/better, but not actually regrow missing body parts) making his severed tongue and tendons permanent.

madchen
replied to your post “If Casca didn’t try a deter Guts from staying and if the Eclipse never…”

this is so sweet… thinking bout a disabled post torture griffith and guts having a potential healthy romantic and even sexual relationship when its narratively framed as Bad is hmmm good
another point for griffiths behelit shouldve cascas all along au tbh

lol like i know there’s a million and one ways guts and post-torture griffith living a life together could go wrong but I’m an optimist and I think they could make it work

plus yk a lot of the narrative tension in the lead up to the Eclipse comes from teasing the audience with hope spots, which become meaningless if Guts and Griffith are doomed no matter what. I say they could’ve been happy together.

also lol idgaf what Miura probably intended, griffguts is extraordinarily readable as a story about how two dudes failing to act on their obvious sexual attraction was what ruined everything and it’s more fun that way.

so yeah if griffguts got together the behelit would have to be Casca’s. It’s perfect.

nico-jero
replied to your post “If Casca didn’t try a deter Guts from staying and if the Eclipse never…”

Your writing is so good! I love you brought up Guts tenderness and helping attitude with holding Shizu’s hand. I wonder how much different Gut’s life would be if she lived? He probably would be a Merc still but would he have the same characteristics that attracted Griffith to him?

thank you so much ❤ and yeah I find that moment so touching ngl, it’s such an interesting character establishing moment for Guts, after the Black Swordsman arc especially.

Good question tbh. We know at least some of Gambino’s abusiveness is rooted in blaming Guts for Shizu’s death (he says it’s why he sold him to Donovan), and it also contributed to the rest of the band considering him cursed. Plus yk just having a mother around, assuming Shizu would’ve been an alright mom, and I’m fine with defaulting to assuming parents aren’t going to suck, would probably be a good influence on Guts. So Guts’ issues with feeling like an ousider would be way lessened, probably.

He’d live a much happier life if Shizu never died imo. More love in his life, Gambino as a distant but maybe not actively horrible father figure. I imagine Guts would’ve started learning the sword at a more reasonable age under these circumstances, being mostly raised by Shizu until he’s actually old enough to fight. No oversized sword in this AU.

Also I think his rape trauma is largely responsible for his run directly into danger by himself and then claw his way back out style of fighting. I think it’s how he deals with a deep seated fear that started there (compounded w/ Gambino trying to kill him later too) and that hits him again every time he faces an opponent and makes him want to lash out to a somewhat irrational extent (tho he wouldn’t be conscious of it when it comes to typical human soldiers imo. monsters bring it out more). Hence things from pre-emptively charging the ram knights as a one-man army to insisting on taking wyald one on one.

So yeah without that trauma I think he would be much chiller on the battlefield. He wouldn’t be as strong as he is, or as driven, or as singular, and he might not’ve caught Griffith’s eye at all. Though I like to think there still would’ve been that spark between them. But they would lose that two lonely dudes finding their loneliness eased around each other vibe. Also Guts would probably not be as desperate for attention, though he might still be a little, since lbr Gambino wouldn’t be a doting parent under any circumstances.

I mean okay I guess I gotta admit that 99% of Guts’ character stems from his childhood and Gambino’s treatment of him, so if that changed, anything and everything could be different, and his relationship with Griffith especially is informed by his shitty childhood imo.

So even if Gambino and Shizu both died b4 he was 15 and he ended up with the Hawks anyway, I feel like his relationship with Griffith just wouldn’t have that intensity. He wouldn’t feel driven to be his equal and have him look at him, Griffith saying he wants him wouldn’t affect him much, Griffith saving him from Zodd wouldn’t have the same impact, same w/ Guts finding a new family with the Hawks, etc etc.

(Maybe this would be good actually lol. I could see this version of Guts telling Griffith what he needed to hear in Tombstone of Flame, eg. And he wouldn’t leave the Hawks even if he did overhear the Promrose speech. He’d probably be more in a position to recognize that Griffith isn’t so much admirable as fucked up. And he’d be more likely to actually apply Casca’s story about him to what he thinks he knows about Griffith and reach a greater understanding of him, when not blinded by a desperate need to be loved.)

If Casca didn’t try a deter Guts from staying and if the Eclipse never happened, how do you see Guts handling Griffith’s mutilated body? We saw glimpses after the rescue but I am craving more!

omg Guts would just be so tender and gentle with him.

I have this image of Guts sleeping beside Griffith on like the first night and holding him in his sleep, and he’s careful with him even while unconscious because he used to fall asleep cradling his sword sometimes.

Also gentle caretaker Guts is so good in contrast to >:| sword swinging Guts, and it’s like canon. Guts wants to be there for people, he wants to support people, the very first thing we ever see Guts do (chronologically) is hold Shizu’s hand while she dies. Guts cutting himself off from people who need his support (Casca, and I’d argue Griffith during Guts’ year long dream journey too) goes against his own instincts and is associated with his growing inner darkness, it’s a betrayal of himself/his own values.

So yk, I think Guts would kind of be in his element in a way taking care of Griffith. He’d be good at it overall – not treating Griffith all that differently, but taking his physical needs and disabilities into account, taking things like dressing him, helping him wash, helping him eat, etc in stride to minimize Griffith potentially feeling humiliated (tho tbh after a year of torture I don’t really think Griffith would be all that self-conscious).

Like, imo Guts kind of fucks up when he awkwardly pretends that Griffith could still recover as he’s dressing him in his armour, but before that, when he’s reminiscing about Zodd and asking Griffith to take the mask off since it’s just the two of them, etc, that’s the typical attitude Guts would adopt with Griffith once they both fully accept Griffith’s limits. Matter-of-fact and companionable, both verbally and physically.

image

Also I think Guts would touch Griffith a lot, like casual pats on the shoulder, steadying hands, helping him stand even when not super necessary, etc, just based on what we see in canon. I could see an argument that Guts might second guess himself, thinking maybe he shouldn’t touch Griffith except when necessary because after a year of torture he’s probably traumatized as shit and Guts remembers not wanting to be touched himself, but in canon Guts’ first instinct around him keeps being to touch him, so yeah.

Plus we see Griffith feeling dissociated from his body and Guts could be a grounding influence that way, helping Griffith reassociate his body with something positive. And I don’t mean sexually, though hey eventually maybe, but just yk, touch being proof of Guts’ physical presence. And I think Griffith would reach out a lot too, physically, he would crave the physical closeness. Like in contrast to Guts taking care of Gambino and getting nothing but neglect and abuse back, Guts would be Griffith’s central focus, I mean Griffith stayed sane during torture by obsessing over him lol, and Guts would love the attention. He’d feel watched whenever he walked into the room, Griffith would gravitate towards him, lean into him, etc, and he’d like it.

This would be after a while together, not like immediately, since in the day’s worth of post-torture Griffith we saw he ran pretty hot and cold. But I feel like eventually things would even out.

And to digress for a sec, I think they’d manage communication just fine too after a while, with body language, lip reading, and Guts asking leading questions. Plus while I think Griffith might be more self-conscious about this and might avoid trying to talk with a severe impediment, with some practice you can be fairly intelligible without a tongue afaik (mb depending on the language, but ik in English you can be understood). So yk it’s not like physical touch would replace actual communication or anything, it wouldn’t have to get weird and objectifying w/ only one-sided conversations etc like we saw in Griffith’s nightmare.

Oh also incidentally I’m imagining Griffith w/ wounds for a while after the rescue that
eventually heal, because uh the missing patches of skin thing is stupid
as fuck and Griffith would be dead of infection long before Guts ever
showed up. So yk Guts can touch Griffith without worrying that he’s
directly prodding exposed muscle (not that that stopped him in canon for
some reason, seriously Miura what the hell).

Anyway ty for asking this was fun to ramble about, and if you want lmk your thoughts too, if you have anything to add or a different opinion or w/e!

heres a fun question… how do you think our boys would eventually (presuming lol) start discussing their relationship on like, romantic and sexual etc terms after they first get together in canonverse?

hmmm as far as terminology goes I’d assume they’d just default to “lover” if they ever like, had to label their relationship. Or when it comes to internal thoughts, I could see both Guts and Griffith just thinking of the other as “mine” lol. “He’s my… mine.”

But like, when it comes to relationship discussions and stuff, lol i have such a hard time imagining them actually talking about it. I feel like it would follow the trajectory of the canon discussions of their relationship, in which Guts asks and Griffith prevaricates. like
Guts: So what are we now?
Griffith: the same as always but now we have sex :)))
Guts: ten minutes ago you were crying and saying you loved me
Griffith: :)))))))))))))

Assuming they got together in a relatively low-key way.

If it was like, after some hugely revelatory event in which eg Griffith threw away his dream for Guts, or Guts nearly died, or something, then I think they could have a v emotionally charged discussion w/ confessions of love, Griffith making Guts promise he’ll never leave, “you’re the only one” “it’s always just been you,” all those fun + v griffguts cliches.

Or even if they got together in an emotionally vulnerable moment, like say Tombstone of Flame but Guts isn’t planning to leave so he actually says the right thing and also kisses him. I could see love confessions then too. Things like “I need you.”

Like if their relationship just evolved naturally I feel like Griffith would avoid examining it as much as possible, but if it happened in a charged, emotionally intense moment then Griffith might be forced to confront his feelings. Like I still think that Griffith genuinely believed what he said when he told Charlotte he had no friends lol, so I feel like the contradiction between seeing none of the Hawks as equals while being wildly in love with Guts is something he’d continue to avoid as long as possible.

He might never even have to confront it if this was a scenario where he did attain his dream and become king etc while in a down low relationship with Guts. He’d just naturally shift to thinking of Guts as the most important thing/an equal despite social status, while letting go of his beliefs about what constitutes equality lol. Since he’s obtained his dream, his obsession is no longer necessary and he automatically drops a lot of the associated bullshit, kinda thing.

I don’t ever really see them sitting down and having a talk about relationship expectations or that kind of thing though lol, I figure they’d deal with stuff as it comes, and probably badly. Like, eg, I think Guts would default to monogamy without them ever having to talk about it, like he wouldn’t be interested in anyone else while fucking Griffith anyway, but if Griffith ever thought he was then… well imo Griffith wouldn’t say anything outright but he’d get sulky and weird and passive aggressive until Guts either forced the issue and made Griffith admit what his problem was or figured it out himself, and then they’d have the talk about exclusivity. After Guts teased him about being jealous.

Idk I always think of Guts as the more emotionally mature one who would actually be able to have adult discussions while Griffith is avoidant, and Guts is mostly fine w/ that bc he’s a go with the flow kinda guy so they generally would leave things unsaid but when it’s immediately important Guts would be able to force the conversation.

Tho that said this is only the case when it’s something bothering Griffith, or something that’s objectively an issue that needs to be resolved, like, idk, Guts asking where he fits in when Griffith gets engaged to Charlotte or w/e. But if Guts was personally bothered by something, feeling neglected, jealous, insecure, whatever, he’d never say anything, at least not to Griffith. Maybe being friends with Casca would come in handy here lol.

I feel like this was v meandering and only kind of actually addressed what you asked lol. But w/e close enough. What do you think?

I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love the super analytical takes that you have on Guts and griffiths relationship. Its a shame that many berserk fans write off the sexual tension that’s shared between these two characters simply because they’re men and counting for the fact that many berserk fans are blatantly homophobic. What do you think berserk would look like if Guts chose to stay with Griffith when he became a lord? Or if guts stayed with crippled Griffith minus the eclipse.

Thank you so much!

Yeah it’s really unfortunate that a large majority of the fandom is totally steeped in homophobia bc honestly the most compelling aspect of Berserk (imo but also lbr objectively) is Griffith and Guts’ extremely charged relationship, and I think the fact that so much of fandom tries hard to downplay it is kind of itself proof of how super gay it is lol. Like they can insist it’s just platonic but the fact that they feel compelled to ignore huge important plot points like eg the fact that Guts’ sole motivation for leaving the Hawks was to become Griffith’s friend, or the fact that Griffith textually valued Guts over his dream, etc, is pretty telling. Would they need to ignore so much if they really believed they were only platonic bros?

(lol sorry think I just had to get that out of my system and you gave me an opening.)

But anyway wrt your question, I think it would depend why Guts chose to stay (did Griffith win their second duel? did some action of Griffith’s convince him that despite the speech Griffith does value him ridiculously highly? or did Guts never hear the Promrose Hall speech in the first place?), but regardless of the exact reason Guts stays, I imagine that Berserk would end up being pretty much a really compelling story about medieval politics and relationship drama lol.

Like, take the tone of Tombstone of Flame Part 2, and that would be Berserk. Cool political scheming and complicated yet intense character relationships. Actually I say “relationships” but really it’s just Guts and Griffith’s that gets the real intensity and complexity lol.

Tho speaking of, I don’t really know where Miura could’ve taken their relationship in this alternate version of Berserk. Like, I can only see them eventually getting together if the Eclipse doesn’t happen ngl. But idk I guess this version of Berserk would be shorter, and maybe Guts and Griffith would have some conflict (eg if Guts lost the duel, maybe Guts’ feelings of inadequacy vs Griffith’s feelings of rejection) that eventually gets resolved. Ooh yk the logical happy ending for them in this kind of AU would be Griffith forced to choose between his dream and Guts and choosing Guts.

So yeah how about that? Political scheming, Griffith’s rise to the throne, both Guts and Griffith filled with self-loathing and their relationship totally tanked because Griffith thinks Guts wanted to leave and he forced him to stay, and Guts thinks he’ll never be someone worthy of respect in Griffith’s eyes, neither of them acknowledging this and Guts maybe continuing to help him but beneath the surface their closeness is gone, but then plot happens, Griffith demonstrates how he really feels once again but rly decisively this time by prioritizing Guts over his dream again, and they both start to figure their shit out.

As for a no Eclipse AU, I think it’s actually the perfect scenario to force Guts, Griffith, and Casca to actually deal with their issues. Like, in canon the Eclipse is basically a giant distraction. For Griffith it’s an escape, for Guts it’s an excuse to bury all of his emotions except rage and swing his sword at monsters for 3 years (and that’s his own escape and outlet: “when I’m swinging this sword… I don’t have to think about anything”), for Casca it drives her insane and puts her entire character on hold.

Without it what you have is Griffith with no dream, his emotional dependency on Guts mirrored by his physical dependency, and no escape from either his feelings for Guts or his feelings of failure and self-loathing. You have Guts who has just realized how hard he fucked up, who blames himself for ruining everyone’s lives but especially Griffith’s, and who has just figured out how much he actually means to Griffith. And you have Casca who… idk I think maybe her biggest issue now is with Guts and Griffith both losing/giving up their “dreams” and gravitating towards each other, she’s lost her motivation. She switched from supporting Griffith’s dream to supporting Guts’ dream and she has to let both go and support herself instead of dudes imho. And okay, maybe Miura wouldn’t go that direction with her character, but idc.

But I’m going to stay vague on how these issues could be resolved and lead to a low key happy ending because I’ve had this as a fic idea on the backburner for ages and someday I might actually finish it lol.

image
image

i like how it’s implied that the Hawks throw a party and get drunk after every successful venture, from battles to minor raids

you can’t tell me it wasn’t a v predictable routine for guts and griffith to hit their sixth or seventh drink and leave the main action together to find a quiet place to hang out and bask in each others’ company

also imagine how many times they’ve passed out on each other like these guys

image

what would open guts’ behelit and why/who he would sacrifice? this doesnt have to be about recent chapters (im hoping its casca’s behelit actually) but in an au

ngl I’ve wondered this a lot. What would make Guts fall into despair and choose to make a sacrifice?

pre-Eclipse, I don’t think there’s anything that could make him sacrifice Griffith, and Griffith is his most important person. Like, Griffith is his sole motivation for everything he does up til like chapter 130, so there’s nothing else that’s important enough to Guts to make him fall into despair imo. Griffith could make him fall into despair, but he’s not the sacrifice-the-person-you-love-to-kill-the-pain type.

However, that said, I think in like, an AU where the crimson behelit was Guts’ instead of Griffith’s, I could maybe see a scenario where Guts sacrifices the rest of the Hawks. Guts leaving the Hawks to go on his dream journey is kind of… paralleled to the Eclipse, in the sense that the Eclipse is a much more fucked up, dark, and emotionally intense version of prioritizing a dream (an escape from your feelings) over your friends – like in both scenarios the Hawks get screwed over because of someone’s willingness to prioritize their dream over their relationships to make themselves feel better.

So it stands to reason that if you jack up the emotional intensity, Guts’ reaction would similarly get darker and more intense until you reach his Eclipse.

Sooooooooooo idk I’m thinking maybe if Griffith successfully committed suicide after the rescue mission? Guts doesn’t reach him in time but is close enough to see it happen, blames everyone but especially himself… but idk I think if his despair was enough to open the behelit, what Guts would actually do instead of making a sacrifice is attack all the monsters until one killed him lol.

The problem I have is that Guts does have a need to escape his pain, he does it by killing stuff, but a calculated “yeah I sacrifice” doesn’t suit him. Like if he had the armour and this happened I could see him personally killing all his friends himself, but I can’t see him verbally agreeing to let demons eat them.

Maybe if he was the one who ended up tortured for a year and physically helpless. Take away his ability to lash out and he has no choice. Something else would still have to seal the deal tho, something involving Griffith. Being physically helpless would reinforce the idea of Griffith looking down on him which is what led to him leaving the Hawks in canon, so there’s something there…

OOH okay what if Guts ended up… idk getting blamed for the Queen’s assassination or something, maybe he was seen and recognized, whatever. Ends up in the torture chamber. Griffith sabotages his dream to rescue him. They save him but end up fleeing Midland, now Griffith is a traitor. So now Guts is physically helpless, can’t do the only thing he’s ever been able to do ie swing a sword, sees Griffith as insurmountably his superior now, they’ll never be equals, plus he blames himself for destroying Griffith’s dream, and has no outlet for anything he’s feeling.

agh tho would he sacrifice Griffith?

Ok more details: tensions are running high among the rescuers because it was meant to be a secret operation, but they were found out – and now every other Hawk still in Midland is in danger because if Griffith is a traitor they all are, and they could’ve been killed by now. So there’s blame being thrown around, esp at Griffith for gambling everything for Guts and losing. And while he knew it was a possibility, Griffith wasn’t intending to throw his kingdom away for Guts, so he’s like in shock right now at how fucked everything suddenly is. Meanwhile Guts is convincing himself that Griffith must be filled with regret and hating him…

lol idk can I just separate Griffith and have Guts sacrifice everyone else? I mean his dream, what he values above all else, is the idea of being Griffith’s equal (Griffith’s attention, respect, and love), it’s what he’d make a sacrifice for, so he can’t sacrifice Griffith to do it. Like Griffith’s dream and Guts are separate so he can sacrifice one for the other, Guts can’t sacrifice Griffith for his dream bc Griffith is his dream.

So idk I give up on the pre-eclipse scenario. All of the above but Griffith takes off before the Eclipse to find Rickert and the second unit or something and misses it lol. (Also I mean maybe Griffith losing his dream to save Guts would actually make Guts feel better, but idk I could def see him just feeling worse about that. So w/e.)

POST ECLIPSE tho is so much easier because now Guts can sacrifice Griffith. So after NGriff ditches him and Guts leaves with Casca, he kills Casca himself, behelit opens, Guts sacrifices Griff, Beast of Darknesses it up, and just lives for no reason but to kill, like he’s 14 again. And NGriff has to be a viable sacrifice bc there’s no one else so close to Guts they’re like a part of his soul, and even if you argue Casca is, she can’t be sacrificed twice. And I’m making this all up anyway so Guts can sacrifice NeoGriff bc I say so.

Anyway killing Casca is my automatic answer bc she represents his humanity and it was presented as a very real danger that could’ve happened if Guts didn’t meet his babysitters. Plus Guts would choose to make a sacrifice and go full monster rather than, say, committing suicide by apostle army, because he still has his dream which is now centred around killing Griffith.

Anyway ty for the question anon, this was fun to ramble about.

hey. asia… do you have any modern au coming out thoughtz?

(sry this took a while to answer bc i had to think about it lol)

tbh i could see so many different possibilities being in character, esp depending on the details of the au. But like, assuming this AU is as close to canon as possible while still being set in the present w/ current identity politics and a gay community etc, yk both still have traumatic histories, griffith still has a dream that requires marrying a woman, etc etc, I can maybe throw out a few ideas. tho again like, nothing set in stone.

I guess ultimately I really want them to be each others’ realizations.

I like the idea of Guts’ being a slow realization that kind of sneaks up on him, where first he realizes that he would absolutely be dtf Griffith and it’s not til after that realization that he figures out that makes him gay. Like I mean he’d fall into that “it’s not guys, it’s just you” cliche but he eventually realizes that no, actually it is men.

He might try experimenting too – like surely it’s just because Griffith looks androgynous, so being with a woman would be better – but nope, doesn’t work.

Might be worth mentioning here (tho i’m sure u already know this) that I hc Guts as gay rather than bi bc Miura did a great job of making his interest in Casca feel super inauthentic to me lol.

Also I think it’s fair to assume that his csa trauma would lead to some discomfort here, but at the same time I don’t think he’d consciously like assume all gay people are predatory or even assume his rapist was gay and not just a pedophile. He might be uncomfortable being checked out in bars at first, and I feel like he’d be prone to worrying that his sexuality makes him specifically more likely to hurt someone bc feeling like a monster is kind of a canon issue he has, but he’s smart and fairly self aware and wouldn’t make it anyone else’s problem for the most part, barring like flashbacks during sex or smthn.

Also he’s tough enough that he’d never really feel like he’s in physical danger with anyone else. So assuming he’s in a good place in his personal life (ie not in a walking disaster “don’t touch me” phase) I don’t think he’d show any discomfort. (And I mean in canon the first time we ever saw him relaxed and happy was while having a water fight with a naked dude who he thought came onto him when they first met a few days earlier. I really don’t think it would be a huge issue.)

And overall I think he’d be fairly low-key about it. He’s gay but it’s just a description to him rather than an identity to build his life around. He wouldn’t be closeted but he wouldn’t be out to everyone in his life like, idk coworkers or w/e. Tho eventually I think everyone would realize because I think he’d kind of want to show Griffith off lol.

Griffith I could see like, simultaneously knowing he’s gay all his life and refusing to fully acknowledge it. He’s gotta achieve a goal which requires a certain image which requires heterosexuality. Maybe he’s not actually attracted to women, whatever, but that doesn’t actually matter as far as he’s concerned.

So with Guts being his realization, what that means is that Guts is the breaking point where Griffith realizes he’d rather have Guts than the dream. Yk, like in canon, but with a) no torture chamber, and b) the addition of this realization leading to the larger realization that he can live as his authentic self and be happy.

Like I’ve mentioned before that in Berserk you have this dichotemy of the dream/het marriage/emotional repression vs guts/emotional expression and yk in a modern AU you can add coming out to emotional expression.

Like we’ve talked about this b4 but I’m saying it again bc I love this idea where Griffith realizing he’s in love with Guts and would rather be in a relationship with him than achieve whatever his modern AU dream is is like a catalyst for dropping the image of respectability and ~finding~ himself. He’d make a bunch of gay friends, start experimenting with more gnc looks, volunteer at pride, go to protests, etc.

Though if his motivations for achieving his dream are similar to canon (mb not the whole for the sake of the dead thing, but yk guilt, to assuage a feeling of inherent worthlessness, to justify things he did to achieve it that he’s ashamed of, w/e) there’s also plenty of room for some angst and drama in between that realization that he wants to give it all up for Guts and embracing a new life. Some “am I selfish/terrible for choosing Guts” soul searching or w/e.

ALSO I feel like modern au griffith could’ve been fairly gnc as a child – wanting to play with girls’ toys, singing along to britney spears, saying he wants to marry the disney princes when he grows up, wanting his hair long, playing dress up in dresses, etc – with some kind of catalyst that hammers home this idea that to get the thing he wants he has to police his behaviour and be like everyone else. this is self indulgent but i just like this concept of like, knowing what you’re about as a kid and then having to unlearn everything you’ve internalized since then. it’s an appealing narrative to me.

And like I could see Griffith’s trauma with Gennon actually affecting him and his opinions wrt sexuality/internalized homophobia more than Guts’ trauma affects Guts, mostly because Gennon was such a goddamn evil gay stereotype in canon, plus Griffith’s own self-loathing compounded w/ the idea that he’s always sort of known he was gay = a secondary motivation for trying to embody the image of a heteronormative ideal, to distance himself from the idea that he’s anything like Gennon. Like Griffith’s trauma comes with a side of effeminate stereotypes and ostentatious homoerotic castle decor, etc. But I don’t think it’s necessary either, like it’s not something I’m super interested in exploring and hey maybe modern AU Gennon is less of an offensive stereotype. and/or Griffith is v socially aware and capable of recognizing that Gennon isn’t representative. w/e, kind of a take it or leave it thing I guess.

Also I’m not really envisioning these 2 concepts (guts and griffith) in the same story lol. Maybe they could fit together but I didn’t really think about it.

And again like, I’m just throwing stuff at the wall lol, not saying this is my Official Take on Sexuality and Characterization or w/e.